Friday, 10 August 2007

Of Glass. And mush for brains. Again.

So our good friends and drinking buddies are away in Scotland for THREE WEEKS! Not on, guys! (And entirely different from our going to Australia for 3 weeks at Easter, even a fool can see that.) Anyhow, I went over to feed t'cat or something the other day and found glass all over their conservatory floor.

Now they've not had a lot of luck with their conservatories over the years. Actually, I should rephrase that. I've not had a lot of luck with their conservatories. They used to have an Everest conservatory that let the water in, with a sliding door that continually fell off its rails. We had a flash flood like the one in July last year, their back garden was like a river, and the sliding door just said "Ah, water, come on in!" As they were away at the time, it was I that had to move furniture in case the flood got deeper, and then mop up as it receded. Actually, I was greatly assisted by Henning Blom, a Swede and some time research assistant to Jenny, who was staying with us for some reason.

Anyhow, when the new Zenith conservatory was installed a couple of years ago, they had blinds fitted at vast expense, then went away for a few days. One day I found glass all over the conservatory floor. The inner skin of one of the roof panes had shattered. Zenith reckoned it could have been defective, or the blinds might have been badly fitted, and a screw butted up against the glass. Anyhow, they replaced the pane and all was well.

Then a few months later another one went. Fortunately that time they weren't away, so they had the joy of vacuuming up several square metres of toughend glass fragments. By now it had been established that it was the blinds that were at fault. This being the third pane to smash, I think it's time the blinds people got it properly sorted out! I'm fed up with vacuuming up bits of glass!

So after a cursory clean up the other day, this evening when I got home from work I thought I'd do it properly. Being a barefoot sort of a guy, I figured shoes would be a good plan, so put on some toeless slip-ons. Yeah, OK, just say nothing. A lot of the glass was still up on the offending blind, so I climbed onto a stool and sucked it up with the vacuum cleaner. Yep, dislodging quite a bit as I did so.

I know you'll be amazed to learn this, but as I returned home, I realised I'd got something sharp sticking into one of my big toes. Then I had to spend 10 happy minutes poking around in my flesh, extracting a tiny sliver of glass.

Maybe I killed off all my little grey cells in Wednesday's drinking session.

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